Long Distance Relationship: How to keep it (well) strong!

artwork by +Tabrakadabra  (original)

""Long Distance? Di magtagatagal yan! Maghihiwalay din kayo"

(That won't work! before you know it, you two will break up)

That would be my mantra whenever I hear about my friends having a long distance love shizz. I never actually believe that it'll work. I mean distance make the heart wonder somewhere else right?

I hate to eat my own words, but in fact I'm actually in that zone right now... for 2 years. (that's a wow for me!)

A little backgrounder:
I'm not trying to break the world record for having the longest LDR, but the situation demanded that we needed to be apart. She is finishing her masters degree in my home town in the City of Pines, while I pursue my career here in the Metro.



The half of the first year was a total mess, we still trying to figure how things will run, then we got the hang of it around a year and a half, then it was a smooth sailing until today.

So lemme share with you some things you might want to adopt. Things we do that made our everyday as seamless as were together.

Create a common talk schedule

We never planned it out but everyday at around 9PM, one of us should call. When we say common talk-time it is when both of us are free of chores, activity and other stuff that you can't do while having a conversation, you can go to our privacy corner and can freely talk away and if you got tired, you can just go to sleep and say your goodnight.

Why is this important? Aside from being relaxed, you will have a clear head, you can open up freely without thinking other matters and you'll never think it's troublesome.

There are other matters that will affect your common talk time like out for diner with friends, overtime at work or visitors alert. You can always text or call her in a short conversation explaining the situation then after everything even if its in the wee hours of the day, leave her a message tell her what happened, and before going to sleep, tell her goodnight at you love her.

It's not a perfect schedule just remember to not let the day end, without telling that you love each other.

Kamusta! Kamusta! 

(because a single hello is not enough)
She made this, every time I would talk to her, she would enthusiastically say kamusta! kamusta! (hello! hellooow!) with the same energy and intonation. It would prep you up cheerfully, she is happy to talk to you. (even though you've been chatting on facebook all the time)

I think is is the second most important part why we are still together, keeping that cheerful spirit, knowing that every call means a lot to you, that you are happy to hear others voices.

Before I got this bad habit of getting angry whenever no one answers the line, it gets really frustrating and i'll get mad. I killed that attitude, it would not help really, it's just me being an asshole. Leave a message, text her the time you are free to callback (so she would not call you back during a meeting or when your at the joe doin'yoh business)

Little Questions Matter

Kumain ka na ba (Have you eaten?) Anong ulam? (What did you eat?)
Anong ginawa mo today? (What did you today?) Maganda ba ang tulog mo? (Did you sleep well last night?)
Questions that asked over and over and over again. It seemed kinda robotic, dull, and I know what you're thinking "Ï don't need to ask those things! I already knew that! Everyone eats and sleep for crying out loud!"

Well, you are wrong. dead wrong.

You see, this are not questions about the meal or the how well she slept, you are asking if she was okay, you are showing your concern, that you cared for her. This are caring sentiments that are important as saying I love you. You see this questions are not simply a conversation starters, they would set the tone on how her day goes, if she so busy she ate lunch a lil bit late, or somehow my GF likes to skip lunch ang have a branch instead, then will eat at 4pm then she will consider it as a diner. I would tell her to eat properly, on time. I would always check her diet cause sometimes she is so busy reviewing. This matters.

If you asked this questions, listen and keep track, don't ask this just because you don't know what to say.

How about the sleep, who cares about that!

If there is something bothering her, it would manifest in her dream, her anxieties, fears and apprehensions, you should also tell your weird dreams, it help to get into your partners psych.

Maximize messenger apps!

Technology make it easier and fun to be with someone we all know that.
That is the perks of this messengers apps. You can utilize them whenever you want!
Here are the apps we use..


KakaoTalk (KKT)
Aside from wacky stickers, this messenger is packed light and only uses a little data, sends photos and videos in ease, plus the expressive cuteness of converting your voice into a cat or dog cartoon.
You can also add a password so you'll have your private chatbox with all your ugly  MMSelfies. Since only few of my friends use this, No one will bug us for a pyramid scam.

Chikka Free text msg

Emergency? Worry no more! Its just a free text away! I use this a lot specially during emergency situations. It's really handy! With social account integration, you'll never have to worry about losing a contact when you have a new phone.

FB messenger
This baby is a messenger heaven, with all of your friends on facebook, conferences and silly short recorded messages it will give another level of kick to your LDR!

Lately, we've been exploiting the short recorded messages, trying it out with pick up lines, making sexy voices, since this is short and sweet, recorded messages cannot undo what you said, it will send automatically when you're done, so if you failed, you can repeat the epic failure over and over again ang have a good laugh. The fact that there is no turning back is chaotically entertaining!

GF: (sexy voice) Hun ko? Pe-pep-peanut ka bwahahaha!
GF: (again trying sexy laughing voice) Huuunn ko... peeeaannnu hahahaha!
(di nya masabi ng diretso ang peanut)

She gave up eventually, saying that she could not do it, even though she internalized the line over and over again and It took a day before I knew what she meant. She expalined it over the phone. It was, peanut ka ba, kasi peanut-tibok mo ang puso ko", I was like! "Punyemas peanut yan! Inabot ng isang araw bago nalaman ang sagot. yun lang pala!" (dead-out laughing)

You see, even though how korny it seems, finding a little humor in things, exploring different ways to communicate serves a fresh vantage point on your LDR.

Play Games

Yes! Play games together, there are lot of online playing games that you can explore, even though your apart. We play pokemon and discuss topics and strategies. Mind you, she is now a better trainer than I ever was.
My friend plays minecraft with her partner, they have built this awesome kingdom, we might explore that possibility too! We played clumsy ninja, adventure time card wars, now shes playing a hotel themed game, while I'm playing Clash of Clans on mobile.

Share files be on the cloud 9

Maximize your cloud storage! Gave her a series or a movie, she don't need to download it, she can stream it online, you two watch it together with skype on the side, (mute the mic so you wont hear her feedback, and chat afterwards). Even though your apart this is a good way for a movie date, delete the file afterwards.

Things that are awesome to share with your LD partner

Music Files
New Band you discovered
New App
Some wacky photo you found online
Intersting youtube video
Link to an article you find amusing (like this blog)
or people to follow on twitter or instagram

Things to do online with your LD partner

Check out facebook profile of crushes, then deemed them unworthy of your own greatness
Stalk some closet gay friend, ( I know this is mean but we are trying to be sherlock and piece the online puzzle) Umamin na kasi!
Read weird anon confessions
Stay on 9gag forever.
video chat!

There you go!

All of this is not possible without trust.
Trust is Love. If  trust is not the center of your relationship, all of this wont work.
That is what I learned about this past 2 years.
and for god sake! visit her at least once a month and make it special.

To my greatest love,

Happy 2nd year anniversary! Looking forward to more adventure with you!
Wag ka mag-alala, di ko naman balak ng mag LDR tayo forever. Magandang isipin na darating ang araw na hindi na tayo magkakahiwalay. Dahil magpapasurgery ako para magkadikit na tayo. conjoined na conjoined! hehe :)

cheers!