To Expenses and Experiences

My TV broke down which is a bummer. I love that television. It was my first time winning a grand prize raffle during the holiday of 2019. It was one of the happiest days of my life. I love watching Netflix on that badass. I love playing Nintendo Switch on it even more. It was a bit corny but I did not have much back then and it was the best treasure I could ever wished for.

Makikinood po (Can we watch?)

I'm not sure If I have shared this story yet but growing up television is a luxury we can't afford. If we wanted to watch our favorite program on a Friday Night cartoon we would go to our neighbor's house. We would watch from outside peaking into the window if we were lucky, we would sit in the doorway for the 30-minute glimpse of Power Rangers or Pokemon. I think we are lucky to have good neighbors that allowed us to experience those things, still, it would be nice if we had our own.

Akira and his appliances 

I think I'm about 9 years old, we had a TV set. Our first one. Black and white with analog channel switch in a wooden linoleum finish, Our Saturday morning cartoons were filled with color even though it's in grayscale. My dad befriended a Japanese man named Akira. He exports second-hand appliances, repairs them, and sells them in affordable monthly installments. Suddenly, we had a washing machine with kanji instructions, a two-door Hitachi refrigerator, and a Sanyo-colored TV. Disney Mornings with Chip and Dale was in color, Alladin and his carpet are flying together with blue ginie. I could watch all day If only were not "saving" on the electricity bill. We had a set schedule set for watching and for all-day entertainment we had our radio playing in the background.

We needed cash

There were times when we were hard on cash. My mom would sell our appliances just to get by on a rainy day. We need to survive. As a young kid, I couldn't understand why do we need to sell things that we love. The little luxury we have gone. She would tell us that it's broken and we need to get it fixed.

Looking back, It was also hard for her to let those things go. The washing machine helps her a lot in doing the laundry. She has this small frame and doing manual laundry is such a monumental task. The fridge was for our food to last longer so she could budget the little money that we had. 

And the TV. The only time she can rest, watch a noontime show, and even watch an anime with me. It was so hard to let of things you love. But we need to survive. We need to.

My mom is so great. She is the best,, hands down I would give everything that I have right now just to see her again. 

That's why as much as possible I want my dad to be comfortable. I'm doing everything that I can to give him the things that he needs. I want him to have a good life for the remainder time he has left with us.

It's hard to let go of things you love.

My TV is broken :(

My TV is broken. I'm tempted to repair it, pry it open and see what's wrong. I might destroy it completely. When I was in Manila. I lived in the old apartment building in Quezon City in Maningning. It was a small room,, enough for a single bed and a couple of dressers. It was cozy. 

I have this small Sony Bravia TV (which still works btw) that accompanied me in my boring hours. It's now nicely situated in my office in the cafe. 

Whenever I look out my window, I can see my neighbor's big ass television. He usually plays modern warfare. As my mind flies into daydream, I often ask myself how would it feel to have a bigass television. How would it feel to play video games in that bigass tv. That night, I went to the mall and checked out some available TV in the market. It was damn expensive at that time. I'm working but I still can't afford things that I love.

Things that you love.

It's funny to think about our attachment to things. I guess it's my childhood trauma that contributed a lot to this story. That's why I'm so happy having that TV for free. Now it's broken. My SO and I are debating whether to buy a new one or just get it fixed. I would love to get it fixed but it wouldn't hurt to buy a new one instead of having future inconveniences that may occur.

We went to the mall just to check if it's worth it. To my surprise. I can fucking afford this fuckers. I can get one right now. It's cheap? Is it cheap? My phone cost more than this fuckers! 

I just stood there. I can afford these things. I excused myself went to the joe and balled like an 8-year-old kid who lost a toy. I did not know why I was ugly crying. Maybe because I wished my mom was here to tell her Hey Ma! You want a new TV! Check out this cool washing machine. See! Hands free! 

This refrigerator is so huge we can fit a cow in it! 

I decided not to buy a new TV. I'll just look for a good repairman. I'll let him/her inspect my old buddy and get him back on working. I love that TV and when the time comes that he can no longer serve me. I'll let him go. I'll buy a new one.