To the Road of Ruin

How can love turn sour?

That feeling of joy gets replaced by anger.
The once vibrant field of flowers withers,
and the road you both walked is now left in ruins.

Unloving someone—
it’s not really possible.
That’s the hard part.
You still love them,
but not enough to stay and be with them.
So you let them go.
You wish them well.
You move on.
That’s the best thing you can do.

We started with uncertainty.

We had nothing.
We dreamt and chased after dreams in a small room,
with a bed that could barely fit one person.

I had no plans, stuck in a 9-to-5 job.
She was a fresh graduate,
her whole life ahead of her.
Together we faced every circumstance—
afraid, but confident.
We had each other,
through thick and thin,
not necessarily better,
but always together—even at our worst.

We ran blindly into the future,
made a lot of mistakes,
got a few things right.
People wouldn't really understand
the struggles we carried between us.
But we carried each other.

Until one day, we stopped.

We still loved each other,
but somewhere along the way,
we started blaming each other.
We couldn't talk without arguing.
We didn’t even try to fix the small things.
We were too busy surviving,
we forgot how to be each other’s home.
We forgot to rest in one another.

She worked late at night.
I slept on the couch.
I’d wake up as she was just ending her day.
We barely looked at each other.
We stopped talking.
We disconnected.

Chasing dreams has its consequences.
We lost our rhythm.
And our hearts slowly grew apart.

I saw her pulling away,
and I tried—
God knows I tried.
I held her hand and said,
“It’s going to be okay.”

But it wasn’t.

She was already in despair.
She cried every night.
And I couldn’t comfort her anymore,
because it was me who caused the damage.

I’d give anything to bring her back.
But it was too late.
The frustration, the resentment—
it had piled too high.
And we couldn’t climb out of it anymore.

I’d do anything for her.
And now she’s gone.
And I regret everything.

But I need to let her go.
Even though it hurts.
Even though it kills me knowing
I’m not the one who’ll make her happy.

In the absence of love,
all that’s left is animosity,
jealousy,
and quiet hatred.
The road we once walked together
is now buried beneath ruin.

Still,
I’ve learned a lot.
And I’m trying to hold on to that.

I hope I find the strength
to make it through this.
I wish her well.

I just…
I wish it ended in a better way.

But now that all things are lost,
maybe it's time—
time to search for the good things
still waiting to come.