A not so surprising and rhyming love post

I can't sleep.

Last July 25 should be our first year anniversary, but oh goody! I missed our anniversary cause of work, and long distance thingy, nothing to blame, and her birthday is about to come!

I really wish the tides will turn this time around and hopefully I can spend time with her and make up for the lost time. Its really depressing if you dwell on it.

I thank god because she's so understanding. She will often say,
 "It's okay" it's no big deal. I understand, don't worry"
But I know its not, there is a hint of pain in her voice whenever she tries to look at the silver linings.

She haven't had any stand out celebration for anything in her life. I'm serious.
If she had her own party or celebration, half or almost all of the crowd are her sisters friend or parents friends, not even a single soul she can relate to. She always gives but has less in return. Last year she spent her birthday on the classroom and she does not even remember what happened that day. Nothing special.

I feel bad about it. I'm the one who should give those things that others can't. I want her to feel special., because she is special, but I'm stuck where I am.

This poem is about us. we often chat online and see each other on video call.
Hope it rhymes.

(ehem clears throat)